My best friend and evolutionary power partner Britta and I are both commited to cocreate a great intimacy relationship as a longing for intimacy has marked our lifes. And for four years we are supporting each other in an honoring and empowering way in our visions. „We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else.“ This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth in my experience. If we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves--again and again–by the people around us. This can start with a deeper dating partner like between Britta and me. And we also included other inspiring gifted women who offered us valuable feedback.
In the beginning of this journey we found out together that we are in a double bind when it comes to love. Our pattern was to feel attracted to emotionally unavaiable men with a lot of chemistry involved. Or on the other hand attracted to caring commited decent guys who are much more emotianally involved with us than us with them. As this whole unfolding is collective we both discovered our old pattern and shattered our inner glass ceiling which was saying that something is wrong here and all men lack capacity. While both of us – Britta and I- were dating a lot we both lost our taste for attraction of deprivation kind of men. Those were in my case sexy tough dangerous unavailable guys and in her case successful alphas or for both of us decent kind men who we could control or felt safe with. And then we judged ourselves und pushed ourselves into the relationship with the decent guy because we both saw that the attraction to the tattoed rocknroll bad boy or sovereign alpha doesnt lead to great intimacy. So after a while of engagement with dating and mutual honoring feedback Britta and I both found out that we were the source of our dating experiences, also of delays of our love vision and relationship false starts. We saw that both of us were holding all the power all along our mutual journey.
We experience the Wave of distancing at the Moment. Both of us started meeting people who are closer to our dream person we want to be with but not in the way we anticipated. They came in a different package.
Before „the wave“ we used to chase after men who are not that available, we were drawn to men who couldn’t really touch our souls and couldn’t commit to us. And there’s a reason why, and the reason why was something inside us. We found out that there is a primitive defense, an unconscious defense locked in that was trying keeping us protected, britta and I called them the inner glass ceilings. And we shattered them together. I for instance used to be playing it cool around man, where in fact loving more is the answer not loving less.
As we both used to be afraid of intimacy we now start having the field change and start meeting men who are available and opening our eyes and our hearts to them because there are qualities of goodness and inspiration. The passion and adventurousness comes from inviting the man to let go of his guard and stepping out of comfort and safety zone. And a woman like Britta or me can inspire her man to meet her in a new innocent receptive place. Where no story exists of what had happened in our or his love life up to this point. So that being said now both of us experience something called „the wave“ in the book deeper dating of Ken Page which is a feeling of repulsion toward dating or boredom or disinterest. Because there is no sudden chemistry in the body and no excitement of the hunt anymore. There is no more instant gratification while we are rewiring the circuitry. We are more bonding with each other at the moment as we walk through the void „desert“ with dating leaving the protection zone and entering the gift zone. I am in an empowering honoring arts class at the moment instead of dates and my boundless creativity is unleashed. We seem to detox both from short term adrenaline chemistry in our bodies and rely on oxytocin rather as it is a bonding hormon.
Activating a new operating system that allows for a change and supports the upleveling of the love playing field like Ken Page advocates in deeper dating. Excitement and thrill can exist in healthy relationships where we share the same values. And there are good quality men out there who have a great capacity for care. „Only the true self can be creative and only the true self can feel real.“ I would add that only the true self can bear the risk of deep intimacy.
The I/THOU or wespace is cocreating a new story for all of us! And feminine power and deeper dating are a team sport like for Britta and me.